I feel like blabbing today, i know i havnt updated in like ages but wtf, whats the point..id rather post at gothic...place poetry home...

Anyhow..i slept all of last night..rather dint sleep with this amazingly dreadful feeling which i dint realy feel as strongly last night as i do now somehow.

its just things are changing and i dont want them to..id tell you what exactly is changing but i dont know..what hasnt changed however is the fact that i dont have my gray boy ...i feel like putting a sad smiley here but i fear it will make my blog looked very unpolished..or something.

And i miss her you know..i miss him too...so much and i just keep fearing i wont see them again and will have to take that jump off the terrace place after all...the place the only place where i can feel such a strong connection to that that arfgmmg why did they have to leave me..america is totally overhyped really..and sucks pretty bad too..for me atleast..hrmmmm...and you know what sucks more?? do you?? coz i obviously dont..

ive spent almost eveynight on the terrace..sometimes alone sometimes with some boy and blared the music so between that i could talk to you through the stars when i couldnt see the moon in front of me...and i dint mind sitting on that edge and rolling off seven floors while i was talking to you..it would be worth it..more worth it if you were sitting on that ledge with me though..

and i keep wondering if im shallow..i really know deep down that i am..but i still try to persuade myself into thinking that i aint...or so..

i hate me...right now...come back home please.