Of Cyanide-Like Nectar...

My Heart is like the wind tonight,
Cold and damp,
for a second, almost still,
as I watch fire rush down my veins,
onto my fingertips,
and turn into wisps of smoke,
fading into oblivion,
like a faulty firecracker.

“Potion for your chills”, the Glass Beckons,
Warm, Trickling down my throat,
my demons stir, in the centre of my chest,
diminishing my brain and inflating my liver,
as I dance to songs never meant to be played.

Salivate, my Lips part,
I feel a million hands, move,
all over me, pining me down,
lifting me up,
and each holds a face, yet not one, a soul.
So I let them feed on my depleting portions,
as the filthy game ensues,
And I can’t recall the day, this pain became pleasurable.

Toes fidget as I writhe in my bed,
I hear noises in my sleep,
Ghosts pounding on my walls.
Mocking me, as they pass through my door,
Smirking as they draw the air out of my lungs,
as they Sit on my chest,
and Smack their Lips.

And I wake, gasping for breath,

“Your Alive”, the Mirror whispered
And the ugly reflection it was many yesterday’s ago,
is now an old friend.
Faint smile and accepting eyes,
we stare at each other,
two strangers on a desolate island,
with no way ahead but to fall in love,
even while they reminisce of their girl,
who etched hearts of fog on glass,
and smiled like the sun.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
The clock is still ticking in the distance,
like a time bomb, waiting to wipe us all out,
Fearless, I’m almost dead inside,
“Were you Ever Alive?” -  A Faceless Shadow in the Dark,
I wonder,
As I lie,
awake, alone,
In the City that Never Sleeps.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frozen Hourglass...

I feel like water,
flowing into the wind.
running in circles
hollow within..

I feel like a desert,
like heaped up sand,
you keep digging up layers,
and never hit the land.

And I feel like, the world is spinning round,
and I'm still standing, chained to solid ground,
waiting to fall down,
into your arms.

The sky moves a distance,
the lone vagabond,
and I'l stare and I'l wonder,
if that was me all along.

Waiting for the dream,
Waiting for the high,
Waiting for the life that
Just passed me by,
Living for the chase,
Waiting for a home
Waiting till I realise,
I'm waiting all alone.

And I feel like, life keeps you floating around,
you can't reach the shore, but it won't let you drown,
and I'm still standing, chained to solid ground,
waiting to fall down,
into your arms.

Slow Dancing In a Burning Room...

I could watch the sky from a distance
and never belong
stuck like all those dreamers
who slept too long

Id rather follow your scent, blindly
than risk not being in your arms,
and I'l hope the waves will hold me,
and tomorrow never comes.

And It's so beautiful, how your waist fits,
that groove right there,
the hand that's sliding round my hip,
the one that tousles my hair.

The fire lighting up your eyes,
the one that's circling the room.
And I'l swing as I hold my breath,
save the air that's left for you.
__________________________________

And we'l wait slow dancing,
in a burning room
cause I'm too scared to get outta here
and keep living without you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heart Burn

I have wasted a million lives roaming around this arid abyss searching for what might only be a sign, a lie, that says everything will be alright.
I haven't found a moment of rest or peace
Or perhaps just too much of it.
To the limit that I feel a certain sense of unrest that captures my system and makes me feel like I'm trapped within my own body, like I'm arrested within my own being and I've swallowed the key. And I'l think of those mental men I used to see on TV. With hair quite like mine and eyes just the same. And beyond this make up and mascara I probably look as insane.
I want to Scream and run, run wild, like the beast within me. But these hushed voices and timid walks attempt taming my spirit. Can I feel it begin to break?
As the land slowly turns to dust and disappears,  running slowly inwards towards my feet pulling into oblivion without letting me .
Without even getting to light something on fire as I explode.

Our Little Cock-le Boat...

Close my eyes, and breathe,
I can hear the rain creeping through trees.
But the ceiling fan plays games in circles,
Mocking, as it sells slaps for dreams.

The sky drowned slowly in nothingness,

like a black hole, without deaths kiss.
Like dark, without the suction of light,
Or is that just my heart?

And I’l listen as you rustle leaves,
softly treading while I sleep.
and I wouldn’t hear you from our bed,

But I was scurrying out our door again.

I run home smelling like your perfume,
the wind blows you back into my room,
Your tongue turns as I gasp for air,
your shape that fits perfectly, that groove, right there.

But the sun brings the dawn of new hands,
And I find myself clinging to another man.
Who will sense my spirit as it writhes, as it glides,
leave my hands with a smile, I can’t deny.

And I board his plane to zenith, hit nadir instead,
“I’m busy, I’l fuck you, next  time”, he said.
And I’l juggle two halves, not willing to choose,
I’d rather rape ego, than ask, for either of you.

So night returns me to our window, with my lips sealed,
lost in the loneliness of the bats screams,
and we run around and have sex in this bush for hours,
wanting each other, cause it can’t be ours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Passive Smoking...

There once was a time when I'd be dressed on this day...dancing and running down the stairs when the moon came up. Happy like nothing in the world could ever make me sad. It was because of you. Only for you.
They said what are festivals when you have none to share with..I say what are festivals when you dont feel alive, even if it is the celebration of all things dead?
And you left and I feel like the airs sucked out, of my room, of these four walls that contain me. In all its glamour it wont adorn a life or a mirror upon its wall, for what have I to see?
And the past haunts and its only dust, that infects my lungs and kills me but I dont have the joy of jumping around in the mud and creating it anymore.
Of rolling in the sand and into the sea like the world was free to be mine and mine alone cause I was a part of you, or you a part of me and we didnt have to split our property and live in isolation on two desolate continents or what could only be named empty.
I wish you were here, Id be at the cemetary today, possibly taking names..or dancing and chanting around a fire while i was dressed in garish make up and blood dripping down my lips. I sound possibly insane to any reader, if any reads this..but I know this would make sense to you.
So sad I want to gorge on someone's blood and kill them and I dont have the pleasure of being a vampire.
Only passive smoke my darling.
Happy Halloween.

Cold Showers...

In the cold light of the morning,
there you are standing up my dreams,
and I try to hold it just a second longer,
just to see you smile then fade away.

Trickling down my body like cold water,
not sure I could take it, but too painful to resist,
And i can smell the hope and faith mix in blood and soap,
as you wash it down my drain and cease to exist.

Looking into that ugly mirror,
I see a reflection of white kissed blue,
and when this ice heart melts in shades of red,
I  can only search for the fire that is you.

And in some unseen territory,
I imagine the source from where your light shines through,
but as fiction builds inside my lonely head,
wonder if I really know you.

Sitting on granite, chalking dreams,
theres a comfort this cold floor cant deny,
easing into corners, shaken, crawling by the walls,
with etches of my fingers beginning to seep in.

Looking past the grill outside my window,
couldnt find myself waiting for this day to begin,
and when Il smile like a child when an airplane goes by
Il still wonder if it were you
Il still want to go home

Somewhere I know I'm really all alone.

~~~~~~~~