Break me as I lay amidst the waves,
crashing and sailing,
through the static noises in my head,
torn apart, to a home, so pristine,
a place , a life id never belong to...
Ah! if only my blood were even as pure as your mucky sand.
Haunt me till i cannot remember, cannot feel my feet,
as i run past making footprints all over your soul,
only to be washed away from its memory without a trace,
and let me fall and drag me in,
so i wouldnt run and dance anymore.
Pierce me as i stand there numb,
with bruises tingling with your saline touch
yet still not conscious of what I've done.
Free me, till i see the light,and transform,
from being the mist on your waves,
to nothing at all.
Swallow me whole, tasteless though i may be,
But as hard as you may try,
I'l still live, I'l still live,
To walk towards the sun,
To feel you sink into me once again..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And all i long for you is to take me home..
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Smoke...
Fingers crawl around a lone cigarette,
Still lit still as toxic
As before he spat it out,
And as the smoke engulfs her
She can hear the sound
Of him rushing out the creaking gates.
Angry and afraid,
But she couldn’t care less
Enchanted, as she holds it within her palms,
Sleek and beautiful,
Like a lil torch lit up,
like fire in her palms,
And drawing it closer to her lips, she coughs,
Confused worried about poisoning her body,
A body still virgin to the fumes,
Still virgin to the alcohol induced high,
Still virgin to dreams and joy drugged in,
Still virgin to him.
And she wonders if she’d get the same pleasure
From the cigarette as it received from his lips,
Toying, upset, she clutches her fist,
And burns a hole through,
Shrieks, as she throws it to the floor
,And crawls away to the end of the room.,
Far , far away from it,
Afraid, she shivers and cries,
Still a virgin, still a child,
Who isn’t quite yet ready to grow,
foolish and ignorant,
But she knows now,
That, that kiss isn’t worth the pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Still lit still as toxic
As before he spat it out,
And as the smoke engulfs her
She can hear the sound
Of him rushing out the creaking gates.
Angry and afraid,
But she couldn’t care less
Enchanted, as she holds it within her palms,
Sleek and beautiful,
Like a lil torch lit up,
like fire in her palms,
And drawing it closer to her lips, she coughs,
Confused worried about poisoning her body,
A body still virgin to the fumes,
Still virgin to the alcohol induced high,
Still virgin to dreams and joy drugged in,
Still virgin to him.
And she wonders if she’d get the same pleasure
From the cigarette as it received from his lips,
Toying, upset, she clutches her fist,
And burns a hole through,
Shrieks, as she throws it to the floor
,And crawls away to the end of the room.,
Far , far away from it,
Afraid, she shivers and cries,
Still a virgin, still a child,
Who isn’t quite yet ready to grow,
foolish and ignorant,
But she knows now,
That, that kiss isn’t worth the pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Transparent...
A Life,Like waves of ether, a mirror devoid of tint,
Not the empty glass bottle, but the air contained within.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not the empty glass bottle, but the air contained within.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Week
Day 1 : Lust
Besotten by geisha dreams, eyes flitter in the mist,lips cold and bare,so empty,yearn for the vipers kiss.
Day 2 : Aria
Feet swing around in circles,longing for the chimes song,tunes floating in blank spaces,the oceans play along.
Day 3: Mirror
Untouched a clear reflection,eyes blank with lives to hide,Lips brown and gray with ashes,of unspoken words which died.
Day 4: Lonliness
Bored eyed, they long for company,scan empty halls in vain,fingers crawl searching windows,for a hole to let in the rain.
Day 5: Anger
Screams through angry shivers,pills escape her hold,Crash!breaks an ugly mirror,falls unconcious on the floor.
Day 6 : Wind
Sitting by a barred doorway,tingles each hair each inch,like a body trying to hold her, she backs away unconvinced.
Day 7: Happy
Body pale and covered in chalk,sitting crosslegged on the floor,drawing lines and circles excited, unable to escape its lure.
Dreams that roll like water,
a kite that floats through seas,
her weeks are crawling by,
she waits for sweet release.
Counting stars and grading shine,
so happy it'd be a sin,
to her the worlds just a story,
that hasn't quite sunk in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Besotten by geisha dreams, eyes flitter in the mist,lips cold and bare,so empty,yearn for the vipers kiss.
Day 2 : Aria
Feet swing around in circles,longing for the chimes song,tunes floating in blank spaces,the oceans play along.
Day 3: Mirror
Untouched a clear reflection,eyes blank with lives to hide,Lips brown and gray with ashes,of unspoken words which died.
Day 4: Lonliness
Bored eyed, they long for company,scan empty halls in vain,fingers crawl searching windows,for a hole to let in the rain.
Day 5: Anger
Screams through angry shivers,pills escape her hold,Crash!breaks an ugly mirror,falls unconcious on the floor.
Day 6 : Wind
Sitting by a barred doorway,tingles each hair each inch,like a body trying to hold her, she backs away unconvinced.
Day 7: Happy
Body pale and covered in chalk,sitting crosslegged on the floor,drawing lines and circles excited, unable to escape its lure.
Dreams that roll like water,
a kite that floats through seas,
her weeks are crawling by,
she waits for sweet release.
Counting stars and grading shine,
so happy it'd be a sin,
to her the worlds just a story,
that hasn't quite sunk in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, December 31, 2007
Smiles..circles..rain...water..life..happy..
Ripples painted across the sky,
stretched like a curtain with dreams to hide,
apathetic,shadows crawl across the land,
eyes shut, to windows open wide.
Mama, I saw a hole in the sky,
gaping yellow,screaming, burning in red,
it called out to me, spinning a web of hope,
promising me of worlds im yet to see.
Curling around my feet, slowly glides away,
drops rolling off finger tips, back to where they belong,
whispering secrets, keeping me safe,
a drifter, aimlessly, drowning me in his songs.
Father this world wasnt meant for me,
these marble floor's hurt more than broken pebbles do,
Its thoughts flow against the waves in my head,
these hearts are to cold, and theyr freezing me too.
And their hands just feel water, not the life it contains,
Dont you see how the wind can teach you to fly?
these hands wish to write,and this mind to learn,
fingers wish to crawl around in paint for awhile.
And I can make lives on this sand, give meaning, give hope,
paint faces and words upon rocks that burn,
draw souls out of mud and bodies out of thread,
and they'l still have a heart more willing to learn.
And i cant breathe as they choke me with their static minds,
tied tightly in silver threads. with cheap mettalic glow,
these spikes are getting closer father, your walls will crush me to death,
I think its time, you let me go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
stretched like a curtain with dreams to hide,
apathetic,shadows crawl across the land,
eyes shut, to windows open wide.
Mama, I saw a hole in the sky,
gaping yellow,screaming, burning in red,
it called out to me, spinning a web of hope,
promising me of worlds im yet to see.
Curling around my feet, slowly glides away,
drops rolling off finger tips, back to where they belong,
whispering secrets, keeping me safe,
a drifter, aimlessly, drowning me in his songs.
Father this world wasnt meant for me,
these marble floor's hurt more than broken pebbles do,
Its thoughts flow against the waves in my head,
these hearts are to cold, and theyr freezing me too.
And their hands just feel water, not the life it contains,
Dont you see how the wind can teach you to fly?
these hands wish to write,and this mind to learn,
fingers wish to crawl around in paint for awhile.
And I can make lives on this sand, give meaning, give hope,
paint faces and words upon rocks that burn,
draw souls out of mud and bodies out of thread,
and they'l still have a heart more willing to learn.
And i cant breathe as they choke me with their static minds,
tied tightly in silver threads. with cheap mettalic glow,
these spikes are getting closer father, your walls will crush me to death,
I think its time, you let me go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Delirium...
Lines, crosses, creeping across the floor,
dodging, misery, tears, my eyes now evade,
Vines curl around bare feet, apathetically shrug,
as words of love etched in fog, now begin to fade
.Watch the world evanesce, doesnt sting my eye,
as long as i have you beautiful, so i can play beast,
but pulled away from my fingers,im unable to sustain,
so just give me novacaine,and sing me to sleep.
Poisoned, spinning, till lips touch the ground,
watching days break down, like grey winter leaves,
seconds rush by my eyes,insanity wounds and blinds,
but my lips only twist to smiles, and slowly part,
to breathe.
dodging, misery, tears, my eyes now evade,
Vines curl around bare feet, apathetically shrug,
as words of love etched in fog, now begin to fade
.Watch the world evanesce, doesnt sting my eye,
as long as i have you beautiful, so i can play beast,
but pulled away from my fingers,im unable to sustain,
so just give me novacaine,and sing me to sleep.
Poisoned, spinning, till lips touch the ground,
watching days break down, like grey winter leaves,
seconds rush by my eyes,insanity wounds and blinds,
but my lips only twist to smiles, and slowly part,
to breathe.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
3 am...
Its maybe two or three in the morning....i wouldnt know...i dont these days...its just hurting me so much...every second that i spend in this shit hole called home..and there is no one..no one left..for me to break out on .. everyones pretty much sick either ways.. you are perhaps all i have but i couldnt ever do that too..couldnt ever try..cause it would hurt you too much..and i wudnt do that now would i? im not capable of it..plus it might just drive you away too..who knows? who knows?..but it hurts..this thing inside me...and its breaking...and everything ive worked with before to relieve me of this madness.. ive given up on..im sick of the blade..and the pills..though i pop them in every hour or so..and its getting tiresome getting high on crocins and other fucking analgesics..sick sick sick..i wanna shoot something....i wanna catch someones neck and strangle them till they cant breathe...or maybe just for someone to sit me down and smack me across my face and push some bloody sense into this head..now a sane logical person would say i should stop crying shut the fuck up and go to sleep....as my eyes scour my room....i dont see a sane man..i dont see a strong shoulder to break down upon...i went searching for that an hour ago...but i cant talk anymore..the way i used to..i just dont feel it in me..neither do i feel the patience or keeness to listen anymore..and my eyes keep spinning..hopingg to perhaps find something anything..maybe just pop out of nothingness...and hold me...or satisfy these voilent thoughts..or something but..all i see..sadly... all i see is this..perfectly normal...perfectly calm expressionless somewhat pretty kohl eyed sitting crosslegged..unflinching as i throw my tumbler and try to break her..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)